Fluffy!
by melodyofbrokenwings
Summary: FrUk OneShot! France raids England's kitchen! Random America :D


Hetalia! Axis Powers short story, sorry I haven't been uploading anything. So here's as little sorry present for you! FranceXEngland

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"Alright you pompous arse, I know you're in there!" England banged on the kitchen door continuously. France had infiltrated his house earlier that day and he hasn't seen a sign of him after he ran into the kitchen, locking the door before England could stop him. England had no idea why he was in there; it definitely wasn't England's proud scones, or has he finally accepted the wonderful taste of their original bread? England thought so.

"He must have realized how much of a genius I am. Who knew that idiot would come around and enjoy my masterpieces!" England exclaimed, his eyes with a fiery passion. He should make more! If France could love them, anybody can! England banged on the door once more

"Hey, open the door, you're in _my _kitchen." England rapped on it a couple of more times.

Silence...

"I swear I will say your full name if you do not open this door immediately-" The door swung open unexpectedly, hitting England square in the face.

_Bam!_

"Oh, I must have hit something. Ah! mon ami* you do not look well." England looked up holding his nose, a retort in the back of his throat that he was about to throw at France. His eyes widened in shock. He choked. _What the hell?_

France was fluffy! He had food crumbs around his mouth and they covered his once fitted blue outfit. It wasn't scone crumbs, it wasn't any kind of bread. Is that cake? He spotted the frosting on the corner of France's mouth. His eyes widened even more as he stood up glaring at the French man.

"You wanker! What did you eat, you've become America you gluttonous hob knocker." France stared at the scraggly hair man, looking his fingers.

"I do believe you were hiding my gift from our baby brother in your secret hiding spot." he licked his fingers. So I have come to eat it all. Mon ventre* expanded so much that I cannot take another step." France spun on his heel patting his stomach. He stared at England an evil smirk creeping on his face.

"You seem very comfortable" England went wide eyed as he saw France coming closer... well his butt. England turned to run away but he tripped over his own footing.

_Plop!_

"I-I...can't...b-breathe! Ffffrraaannnccceeeeeeee! You lard, get off!" France picked his teeth with a toothpick. He was sitting on England's back squishing the English man.

"This is punishment for stealing what was mine, mon ami." France tsked at England, squishing him even more as he rolled around.

"When I say you have had enough, that is when I will get off. For now, I will torture you." He moved around on his back. England kept gasping for air.

_How could he get so...fluffy! kill me..._

_"Get..._OFF!" He roared with rage! France rolled over sitting on England's butt. Bones popped every time the man tried to roll the fluffy one off. It never worked. He looked over at the table spotting his imaginary friends coming to him.

_'I'm saved..!' _England thought as he cried for them to help. As they approached, they stopped to stare at the fluffy France.

"EEK! WE"RE SORRY, PLEASE DON"T EAT US!" Poof! They disappeared. England choked, feeling betrayed.

"Aw, is the petit enfant triste?*" England twitched.

"THAT'S IT!" He exploded in anger, finally tumbling France over. He tackled the fluffy French man.

"You fat heifer!" pulls France's cheeks.

"You les rosbifs!*" pulls England's eyebrows.

"How dare you" tackle tackle tackle! Fight!

**~Next Day~**

"Hey England!" America came running to him. He stopped. "Dude what happened to your face?" England scratch marks all over his face.

"Clearly I was mauled yesterday by a ferocious creature." England twitched. America smiled, patting the man's back.

"So you finally came out of the closet?, good for you!" BONK BONK SLAP BONK!

"Perverted idiot!" America was on the floor twitching, England with a vein popping out of his forehead.

"What are you doing now?" England turned around to meet a skinny France with a black eye. England growled, crossing his arms.

"None of your business you food thief." He glared at him. America popped up in between them.

"So you did it with France, it looked like you guys had fun!" France and England stared down at America.

BONK! SLAP! HIT! PUNCH!

America's soul left him.

"Annoying" they both said in unison.

"Do you want America's share of cupcakes?" England asked France.

"For once I agree with you, let us go"

They left America to writhe in pain.

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The End!

*mon ami - my friend  
*mon ventre - my stomach  
*petit enfant triste - little boy sad  
*roast beef - les rosbifs


End file.
